Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

I'm sorry if I'm short about this movie but this is a review I really don't want to write. I may have had a slight urge the other day but with other developments and movies/shows I've been watching, this movie just isn't a top priority.

And the same can be said about me wanting to watch it.

If you don't recall, I did a review of this movie's trailer a while back. Why? I'm not totally sure. But if you recall, I said this movie was another Transformers movie with Turtles... Well I wasn't totally wrong, but not totally right either. But I'll get to that in a second.

Honestly, this movie came out and I had no interest in seeing it. I remember it was a choice, do I see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles... or Guardians of the Galaxy? You know what I chose and I to this day stand by that decision.

So this movie has not been on my list of priorities. Its only because I got it for free that I watched it.

So what happens in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

The film centers around April O'Neil... or Megan Fox trying to be April O'Neil. I'm no Turtles master but I would be kind of sad if this was the best representation of April O'Neil they could give us and I was a big turtles fan.

Let's get this rant out of the way and then I can talk about the things that were actually good about this film... sorta.

The fact of the matter is, this movie could have been a lot better had Megan Fox not been in it. Again, I don't know much about April O'Neil but she's a big part of this film. If you don't have a good actress in this role and its just someone they put in for eye candy, its just hard to enjoy the film.

Also, while I thought Will Arnett was a great part of the movie, I wasn't quite sure why he was so interested in her. I'm not sure if they tried to make Fox look older or Arnett look younger but for some reason they thought that was a good couple... or something. Nothing happens, thank God, but its just weird. I'll talk more about Will Arnett later but I want to say one more thing about O'Neil in this movie.

She's fucking dumb!

This isn't about Megan Fox anymore, its more about the character. She wants to be this crack reporter and she starts this trail towards finding the turtles. But she goes to her boss with no evidence! Whoopi says it very clearly, you haven't a lick of evidence to prove there is a vigilante. And then when she goes to Whoopi again, she still doesn't have any evidence! All she says is that the turtles she raised are now vigilantes who are ninjas. I would fire her too if I were in her place!

After that... there's really not much else she does. She's kind of the human vehicle that we can view the Turtles through but she's just so bad. Again, I feel like the character could have been better if Megan Fox wasn't the one playing her. Someone a little more relatable and not just eye candy would have made this film a lot better.

Put all that aside, the film does have a lot going for it.

The Turtles were really really fun. Michelangelo, Hilarious! All the others really had their own spirits to them and made the entire thing really fun. While I'm bummed Leonardo was not that interesting of a character and kind of went down like a bitch, he was still cool (in case you didn't know he's my favorite).

I take back what I said about them looking dumb. I don't know what changed, maybe it was seeing them in action but I thoroughly enjoyed these guys. They had a lot of funny moments, they were witty, they were fun. They definitely were brothers. While there wasn't an incredible theme of family in the movie, or at least to the level they we trying to go for. But I genuinely started to enjoy these characters.

But back to the plot, as I kind of jumped to characters a little quickly.

A group called the Foot Clan is terrorizing New York City. April O'Neil wants a story and she ends up running into the Turtles. Turns out they are the result of a science experiment that her father and Erik Sacks (played by William Fichtner) did to develop a crazy cure... or something.

Its all logistics but to cut it short. William Fichtner, like always is the bad guy.

Something about this guy just makes him the bad guy in every film or TV show he's ever been in. Yeah he was kind of a redeemed hero in Prison Break but he was still an asshole and the antagonist. At least for a long time.

In this he was... alright. Its nothing phenomenal. Especially since he wasn't really the main bad guy.

Of course Shredder is the main bady and Fichtner is more of his front man.

Shredder in this... was not that great. Sure he was menacing and I liked that they didn't show his face or have William Fichtner play a white Shredder like everyone thought he was going to, but overall Shredder was just a giant robot machine man. He wasn't a diabolical bad guy. He was just the thing that the Turtles fight.

Sure he's kind of bad ass but I have a hard time remembering Shredder in this film.

Back to the plot... its kind of thin so I'm sorry I keep diverting.

Shredder has an evil plan to dispurse a disease over New York and use the cure they developed in the blood of the Turtles to save everyone and make a shit load of money... Not a really original or really interesting plot honestly... wow this movie has a really shitty plot.

Damn, usually I can pick up on this shit...

I think the action in this film was just so over the top and a lot of the scenes were really good. But they just weren't really story driven and just kind of masked the lack of story.

...Splinter was cool though. He's played by Tony Shalhoub which I find kind of funny.

I think overall, the Turtles were the best part of the film. I don't really think its a horrible thing that I was duped into thinking there was at least a simple story. If the action is good and I'm entertained, yeah the movie won't be deemed good but at least I'll find it entertaining. And I did find this movie entertaining... except for Megan Fox.

She needs to go away.

As for Will Arnett... He was good.

Honestly, I like the man in almost everything he's in so there's no much point in belaboring the point.

But I'm not quite sure why he's here.

I get it, Megan Fox can't do this alone and she needs someone in her corner. I'm not saying O'Neil should have unfriendzoned this guy but I'm not quite sure why Will Arnett had a thing for Megan Fox...

It was just strange thats all. I don't feel like it worked. Again... just weird.

I don't know. There are really great things about this movie and then there's Megan Fox. I'm not saying she's the only thing wrong with this movie but she's a big part. I really don't want to see her in the sequel but I have no doubt she will be.

Otherwise, the movie is alright. I think I like many other people went into it with such low expectations that we were surprised when it didn't suck total donkey dick. Its still not that great at all and it in no way makes me want to put a sequel on my list of priorities, but if I got it on my computer for free from a friend again, Eh I'd watch it.

Those are my thoughts on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. What did you think? Comment and Discuss below.

I'll leave you with this. This was a part I liked a lot. I didn't laugh hard, it was just silly and fun. Way to go. You got me. Enjoy!