Cabin in the Woods

Well... This movie definitely deserves this a what the fuck

And its not really a bad thing.

This movie was written by Joss Whedon so I'm not really surprised the result I got with this movie. Joss Whedon doing a horror movie, this is really the only way it could have been done.

I really wish I could tell you whether or not to watch this movie without spoiling the entire thing. The best way I think I could describe this movie is a group of college students go to a cabin in the woods for a crazy weekend. They are being observed by a shady organization. They have a secret that you will find out and just have to say

I don't think there's a way around it. You will be utterly confused by this movie. Its funny, its odd, its quirky, and if that's your kind of movie, if you are a die hard Joss Whedon fan, you will love this movie. If you're looking for an incredibly scary movie, your run of the mill scary movie, this isn't it. It's weird, I'm just gonna put it like that.

My recommendation? Try this movie out. A good portion of you will not like this movie. You'll think its really dumb. The thing to keep in mind is that it is not suppose to be taken seriously. It is suppose to be funny and dark. Try it out, and maybe you'll say it was a waste of time... but there are some of you out there that will absolutely love this movie.

For those leaving us now to go watch Cabin in the Woods, I'll leave you with this. Here's the trailer to get you pumped. Watch the movie, its only about 90 minutes. Come back and read the rest of the review.

That is my spoiler free review. If you still wanna see the movie without it being spoiled, click out and watch it. It's something special.

So here goes the full fledged, spoiler filled review.

The plot starts out simple enough. A group of college students go to a cabin in the woods. Of course, there is something very wrong about this cabin. They go into the cellar and see a collection of trinkets inside. Of all the trinkets they read a book of a family that used to live in the cabin and used to do crazy torture porn shit. Then they read some latin and zombies come up from the grave.

From there, it goes on as a normal horror slasher flick... kinda.

They're getting killed off one by one, and its the movie that most horror slasher fans put their money in for... with a twist.

The entire movie, the college students are being watched by Richard Jenkins, or the dad from Stepbrothers.

Him and Bradley Whitford (or that guy from the West Wing) are watching these college students doing all this stuff from an undisclosed location. Not only are they watching them in a similar fashion as The Truman Show, they can control elements of the cabins, like the guys who run The Hunger Games.

But the reason is unknown until pretty much the end of the movie... kind of. They allude to it and about half way through the movie I kind of guessed what exactly was happening. Doesn't mean I totally see the twist coming, I just felt there was a little bit less cloak and dagger than I expected and lots of things were predictable in the movie.

Now this is a satire so I guess it doesn't matter that the twist wasn't predictable by half way through the movie, but god damn, the last half hour of this movie, everything goes to hell. I'll get back to that in a second.

BIG SPOILERS AHEAD

 This organization has control of not only the elements that surround the cabin, but the monsters that go and do the murdering. These college students are not the first to be murdered in this cabin.

And the cabin isn't the only place where this is happening. All across the word, people are being not only murdered, but sacrificed to "The Ancients"

Yes, this organization is in the business of offering human sacrifices to dormant gods...

Now I think if this movie hadn't already turned people off, I think this is the part that would for a lot of people. For me, its eh. Its very Joss Whedon and its hilarious. The entire movie is satirizing horror slasher films and they do it in the way only Joss Whedon would. Its hilarious, its really dark humor, but its creative as hell. Its something definitely out of the norm of creative that has been created in movies today.

Getting back to the last half hour of the film

 So the main character, (played by Kristen Connolly) and her stoner friend find their way into the secret facility where all the monsters are kept.

And then as they're about to be offed by the organization, they press a big red button that releases EVERYTHING.

Now, I don't know why this facility had a big red button that releases everything, that seems incredibly stupid knowing what they have.

But when all the monsters get out, its just absolutely ridiculous. Things go absolutely bananas!

Guys are getting torn apart by giant snakes, zombies are everywhere, clowns are slashing people to bits, even a unicorn stabs a guy to death.

I loved that part, yeah it doesn't make sense that there's a big red button that releases pandoras box, but they're alluding almost the entire movie about the other stuff in this world, it would just be a shame if you didn't get to see it.

And then Sigourney Weaver shows up...

This was an incredibly odd cameo. Cause she's there, and then she's gone. She has maybe 5 minutes of screen time all together.

But Weaver explains that the ritual of murdering these kids needs to be done in order to save the world from being destroyed by the Ancients. But really the only one that needs to die is hot chicks stoner friend. So the girl almost kills him, and I was like, alright, smart move.

And then she doesn't kill him. Weaver dies from a zombie and the two college students just accept that the world is going to end and smoke a joint.

Now, I think everything was pretty good except the end. I won't pretend to know what it feels like to have to choose between dying by having your hot friend kill you or dying by the end of the world. But the stoner guy is a dumbass. He's basically the smartest guy for the entire movie and then he just loses all that intelligence when he decides to let his friend get eaten by a werewolf.

Now this has become more of a rant about this movie, rather than a review so I'll wrap it up. Cause I could go on and on about how strange this movie is.

Overall, I enjoyed Cabin in the Woods. Mainly due to the creativity of the idea and the dark humor and witty writing of Joss Whedon. Also the Pandora's box scene. That's not what its called but I'm calling it that.

The movie was just strange.

Its very Joss Whedonish and I think its a signature of his style. He likes it weird, and to each his own. There are a lot of people who will not like this movie.

The thing to be clear about this movie is that it is a satire. And its a satire done right. Except for the very end, I think this is a very clever movie. The more I think about it even, the more I like it.

My recommendation? Try this movie out. A good portion of you will not like this movie. You'll think its really dumb. The thing to keep in mind is that it is not suppose to be taken seriously. It is suppose to be funny and dark. Try it out, and maybe you'll say it was a waste of time... but there are some of you out there that will absolutely love this movie.

So have you seen Cabin in the Woods? What did you think? Did you love it? Did you hate it? Why? Comment below and share your thoughts.

For those that stuck around for the entire review, I'll leave you with this just to show my love for Joss Whedon. I'm not trying to get political, that's my other blog (http://wecandomuchbetter.blogspot.com/) But here's Whedon's thoughts on Mitt Romney back in 2012.