Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters

When I first saw the trailer for this movie, yes I thought it looked kind of silly... but at the same it looked so stupidly awesome!

Here look at the trailer

So when it finally came onto Netflix, I had check out the movie despite poor reviews.

So the movie focuses on the German fairy tale of Hansel and Gretel. The first 5 minutes are the traditional fairy tale. Two children are led out into the woods by their father and abandoned. They find a gingerbread house and find a witch. After being captured by the witch and being stuffed with candy in order to be eaten, they throw the witch in the furnace and kill her.

From there, the two children go out and become Witch Hunters. The story takes place many years later when the two are grown up. They have built up a reputation of being great Witch hunters.

So they go to a town that has been tormented by witches. Witches are stealing children and looking to fulfill a blood ritual.

Now the movie starts with them coming into a town and seeing a woman being accused of witchcraft.

Now I'll go into the ways this movie is just ridiculous as hell, they start this movie on kind of a controversial foot.

I mean its a woman is being accused of witchcraft. A large number of women were falsely accused of witchcraft for decades and this movie is saying that it was all true...

All I could think of in that first scene was this.

So before I move on I guess I'll discuss the different characters.

The main characters are kind of dull. I mean I have to give Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton It takes a lot to take a role like Hansel and Gretel as witch hunters seriously. For the most part, they do an alright job. The problem the movie had was they didn't want to have these two get too close because then it could maybe get a little weird being that they are brother and sister. That being said, these two pull off the brother and sister dynamic well enough. Its also an action movie so they can't be bothered too much with that silly thing called character development. Also Gemma Arterton is British and yet she is speaking in a really awful American accent in this movie. Why? I don't know. I know its a German fairy tale but why the obnoxious accent?

But the characters themselves are products of the movie.

Its fairy tale characters going to a violent level they've never been to before. It odd but really fun territory. But everyone in this movie just seems to be cut out of present day. I mean Hansel develops diabetes from all the candy he is forced to eat as a child. I mean I'm sure people had diabetes back in his time but they never had insulin that they knew they needed to inject everyday.

They find guy who's a big fan of them. I don't know his name, I don't really care to know his name. He was boring.

Peter Stormare was in this movie. He was the Sheriff of this town and very dead set on finding these witches and the children they kidnap. He doesn't like Hansel and Gretel, actually to a point of absurdity. Like he's just an asshole for the sake of being an asshole.

Then there was Famke Janssen. I am very indifferent to Famke Janssen. She's kind of bland and doesn't give any kind of memorable performance. That being said, she's alright at what she does.

Overall, the movie is just hilarious. I mean you have Jeremy Renner running around hunting witches with a shotgun, people being crushed by trolls, witches getting decapitated by wire, its just so freaking ridiculous.

If you enjoy that kind of movie of just senseless violence, you may actually like Hansel and Gretel.

A complaint I had with the movie was the effects. it kind of looks like they ran out of money with all of the blood effects and they couldn't really afford locations that didn't look like a sound stage.

Maybe they were trying to go for a practical look but some of the effects looked really silly as the movie went on.

Also, the movie kind of sacrifices some common sense for good action scenes. Like the shotguns and weapons don't really have that much of an effect on the witches until the end.

I'm not joking, it looks like they sprinkle fairy dust on it and then suddenly it makes witch's heads explode.

In short, this movie is just hilarious.

Its overly violent. Its overly simple. And its a fun twist on a classic tale.

The movie kind of reminded me of a more violent version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Its a creative take on a fairy tale and I think it does it right.

If you read my review of Once Upon a Time, you may recall that I wanted a little bit more a modern adaptation of fairy tales, or a more gritty version of them at least. This is that gritty feeling to a whole new level. It may be going to an extreme but its fun to see someone take a fun risk with fairy tales like Hansel and Gretel.

If Once Upon a Time was done like Hansel and Gretel I would be so happy.

Overall, I had a lot of fun watching Hansel and Gretel. It's not a phenomenal movie, its more of a fun bloody mess of a movie that is just fun to watch. Maybe its a guilty pleasure, maybe its a shitty movie. Regardless, I had fun.

So have you seen Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters? Did you like it? Comment and discuss below.

I'll leave you with this. Here's a comparison with Once Upon a Time Hansel and Gretel and this movie. I know I'm focusing a lot on the two but I'm really not enjoying what I have seen of Once Upon a Time.

Once Upon a Time

Hansel and Gretel (SPOILERS!)

See the difference?