Fire With Fire

Its 1 in the morning. You're bored. You are bored with Xbox and you can't find anything good on Netflix. What do you watch? Probably not Fire with Fire.

You know that one guy from Transformers who was the soldier? Well he's a firefighter in this movie. He witnesses a murder perpetrated by Vincent D'Onofrio and his weird neo-nazi gang. Well he's put in witness protection and apparently the only evidence against D'Onofrio is this firefighter. But Vincent is a big bad mobster who knows everything about everything and is able to find Duhamel very very quickly.

When he sends a hitman (played by Doctor Doom, Julian McMahon), to go kill Duhamel and the Marshall who he's now in love with (played by Rosario Dawson)

After a failed attempt, Duhamel decides the only way he'll be safe is if he goes off on his own and kills D'Onofrio himself.

Oh and Bruce Willis is in this movie too. Sorta...

So you could say that Josh Duhamel is going on a...

Frankly the premise of this movie's existence is confusing. You've got three + big name actors in film and yet its a straight to video release. And then you look at the director and the producer and it all comes together.

Yeah... 50 Cent is in this movie. He also produced it. And it doesn't help that the director is only known

for doing a crap load of TV, not horrible TV but TV. This was his feature film debut and you just have to wonder what was going on in his head.

"Mr. Barrett, good news, we're giving you the opportunity to direct your own movie! However, its a direct to video movie and you'll be working with 50 Cent as a producer..."

How disappointing would that be?

And everyone seemed to know that this was a direct to video movie directed by a TV director and 50 Cent.

Speaking of individual performances, that brings us to Josh Duhamel.

The only other thing I have seen this guy in is Transformers... that's not saying much. However, I did like him in Transformers. This... he's a pansy.

They try and build him up like a nice guy who is going on this rampage out of love. But every time he tries to kill or even hurt someone, he starts freaking out and throwing up. There's a part where he ties a guy to a conveyer belt and hammers his fingers off. Immediately after he throws up and says, "Love makes you do Crazy things"... Love makes you do crazy things?

I would believe this if Duhamel was a little bit more believable of an actor but Duhamel just looks like a scared kid when he does any of this. There's a part where he goes to 50 Cent looking for a gun. Some how after throwing up again, he manages to not get curb stomped, not listen to the gangsters, the guys who have actually killed people before's advice and is very particular about the kind of gun he gets. In short it was a dumb scene. I know thats confusing, but this movie is confusing.

I suppose the best part of the film was Bruce Willis and there really wasn't any purpose to him. Besides being the stereotypical cop, he doesn't do anything. I thought that Willis was eventually going to do some ass kicking, John McLane style but he doesn't.

Tommy Lee Jones did more than Bruce Willis did in this movie in No Country For Old Men and he did absolutely nothing. (That's a totally different review in itself.

I would hate to imagine the conversation Willis had with his agent. I imagine him sitting in a similar position he is in the picture above.

"Alright Bruce here's the deal, part of your contract included a direct to video release with Lionsgate. We're putting you in a film with Josh Duhamel and Vincent D'Onofrio."

"Oh that doesn't sound that bad."

"Oh and 50 Cent is producing it..."

"....Shit"

The only "saving grace" of this movie was Vincent D'Onofrio. I don't see him in much. I saw him in Full Metal Jacket, a few episodes of Law and Order Criminal Intent, and a couple other things.

Now let me be clear, D'Onofrio is not good in this movie but he's not bad. He does a pretty good job at being menacing and is written in a way where he is kind of overconfident and with absolutely no remorse.

The problem with this is that his character is more of a caricature. There's no negotiation with him and instead of having a legitimate cause or thinking he's doing the right thing, or have some sort of circumstances that make him understandable as a character, he's just evil. While he does it well, its not really an intriguing character.

And that just kind of underscores the problem with this movie. Its just so ridiculous its just funny. For example, Josh Duhamel sets a building on fire to kill D'Onofrio. Suddenly he realizes that the bad guys have his girlfriend. So he suits up in his firefighter outfit, helmet and everything, armed with only a lame pistol and he runs into the building shooting guys with his gear on.

Good thing about the movie is that its only about 90 minutes. Its a quick action flick with cheesy acting and one scene where Bruce Willis beats the crap out of a guy for no reason. If that isn't a reason to just watch a stupid movie I don't know what is.

Its a probably one of those movies that is fun to watch with friends and just make fun of it. If you don't like that, you'll probably hate this movie.

Overall its kinda shitty but I don't think it was every meant to be spectacular. Big name actors in a direct to video movie is not something you see very often and its worth a few yucks.

So have you seen Fire With Fire? What did you think? Do you like watching crappy movies on Netflix? Which ones?

I'll leave you with this. Here's something that is suppose to be funny. Enjoy!