Snow White And the Huntsman

Charlize Theron just has that look that at any moment she is going to go crazy on your ass.

This movie basically a type cast for Kristen Stewart. Its dark, its bland, its emotionless, its everything you expect of a movie with Kristen Stewart.

Snow White and the Huntsman is an adaptation of the classic fairy tale Snow White and the 7 dwarves. Now I'm not bothered by the fact that the movie didn't follow the fairy tale, I actually thought it did a good job at honoring the story yet making it their own. Snow White is born to a King and Queen and when the Queen dies the King marries the woman who would soon betray him and become the evil Queen. She imprisons Snow White and takes over the kingdom with her brother. But Snow White escapes and after convincing the Huntsman, who was sent to retrieve her, to help her, they set off for a kingdom run by a resistance to the evil queen. Along the way they meet dwarfs... yeah they don't really fit in this movie. 

The strange thing about this movie is the pacing. There is so much exposition that is drawn out too much and then when something important happens, it happens in a matter of seconds. For example: There is so much build up to the fact that Snow White has escaped the castle and someone must go after her. The Queen scolds her brother, she gets kind of weird for a little bit, eats some female hearts, we're introduced to the Huntsman, he gets beaten up, he gets brought to the Queen, we figure out he had a wife that died, the Queen says she can bring his wife back, they finally go out into the woods to find Snow White. He finds her in five minutes... There was so much exposition drawn out in bland "mysterious" delivery of lines that they got boring. And then when the action is suppose to happen it's over so quickly you feel very cheated. 

The thing that bothers me about this movie is how its so monotone and bland. I was watching this with my sister and her husband and I kept on saying, I bet I would enjoy this movie if I were high. Visually the movie is actually stunning. There are a couple things that look kind of dumb in CGI but for the most part its a creative and very visual movie... but that doesn't make it good. 

I kind of said this about Avatar in my last review. A movie can't ride on the fact it looks pretty alone. At least not for me. If a movie is visually stunning but the story doesn't go anywhere or it isn't executed in a decent way, I don't care how stunning the visuals are, I'm going to forget I watched this movie. Eventually I am going to stop enjoying this movie. 

I will give this movie credit, its the right movie for Kristen Stewart. The world she lives in, her total lack of acting and lack of variety when it comes to facial expressions works very well. That doesn't make her good, it just worked. K Stew I swear has about 15 lines in the entire movie. When she does talk, its bad. But its manageable when she doesn't talk. Like everything else I've seen her in, its a very lackluster performance.

I really want to like Charlize Theron. I've liked some of her work but other stuff I've hated. This movie I am somewhere in between. Theron was just as bland as Stewart but what she did manage to do was make the evil Queen actually kind of creepy. Not terrifying but creepy. It was kind of a Basic Instinct role just not as theatrical. They did a little bit of a backstory on her character and you could see how she became evil however the point between using magic to stay alive and turning out psychobitch on everyone was a large gap that you needed to suspend a lot of disbelief to get over. She played the bad guy and it wasn't horrendous. I guess that's basically what I'm going for here.

She had a brother played by Sam Spruell

There must have been some weird Lannister shit going on between those two because they were very close in the movie. However since the focus of the movie was on Charlize Theron's character, this character was kind of thrown to the side. He was gross, he served his purpose as a secondary villain. There's not much else you can say about him.

I am really starting to like Chris Hemsworth. He's great as Thor, I didn't even know he was in Perfect Getaway but I loved his character which says something about his range. He's done some really good work. The saddest part about this movie was that you could see Hemsworth wanting to do more with his role. There were hints and glimmers of good from his character but it was just stifled by Stewart and the poor script. Hemsworth did what he could but as hard as he tried he couldn't resuscitate this movie.

The supporting cast was the Duke William played by Sam Clafin. The only other thing I've seen him in is Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides. He was forgettable in that movie and he's very forgettable in this one.

The other important characters are the Dwarves.

Lead by Ian McShane, this was a cast of very very good actors who didn't make the cut for Peter Jackson's the Hobbit. They make good dwarfs, but it was a similar situation to Hemsworth. The script just didn't allow them to save this movie.

One thing that made me actually very angry about this movie was this guy

This is Bob Hoskins

If you don't know him, he is (in my mind) a very... very... VERY good actor. I'm not saying he's the best actor in the world and yes he's done some bad movies (Who hasn't?) and he was in this movie. Now I'm not criticizing Mr. Hoskins necessarily, I'm more bummed that this had to be the last role of a great actor like Bob Hoskins. Mr. Hoskins was diagnosed with Parkinsons Disease and announced that Snow White and the Huntsman would be his last role. What is his role?

A blind dwarf who I guess has visions.

Yeah Hoskins predicts that K Stew is Neo and is the only one that can save the land. It was an incredibly small role without any consequence because the same thing would have happened regardless of whether or not he had this vision or not. It didn't change K Stew's course or her resolve... it just was a premonition of the future. He could have not been in the movie and it wouldn't have made a difference.

Again, I'm not criticizing Mr. Hoskins nor am I saying he should have done a different movie, I just wish this movie could have been more to honor his career. It was just a strange end to a very lucrative career and Mr. Hoskins deserves better than this movie.

This movie was muddled in the controversy of KStew having an affair with the director. Despite that they're talking about a sequel with KStew but not the director. I personally don't see the need for a sequel to this movie, I don't think it deserves one.

It's bland, its poorly written, it has weird pacing, its just not very good.

Good Luck Mr. Hoskins. Regardless of the crappy movie, you are a great actor and you'll be missed.

So what did you think of Snow White and Huntsman? Compare it with the other Snow White movie that came out in 2012. Mirror Mirror? Which one did you like? Comment below